There's been a lot of buzz around the term "regulating nervous systems" lately, and I think it's great. In fact, it's pretty much been my passion project for more than a decade. It's important, but it's not new. Not even close. In fact, the old, worn out word that it seems is being asked to sit in the backseat for awhile is stress. Or maybe more appropriate, chronic stress. And aren't we sitting in a pile of it now? Let me explain the basics of what this new term is referring to so you can see what I mean.

Your central nervous system is broken down into a few different ways, but not wanting to write a biology lesson, let's get to the relevant parts. Think of your autonomic nervous system as having two sides--you can almost imagine a pair of lungs and you'd have a good visual. On one side is what we refer to as the parasympathetic nervous system. This is also known as "rest and digest." It tends to be associated with the alpha brain wave, and what I call a more expansive and altruistic way of being. Descriptors like collaboration, gratitude, and generosity might apply. Now let's remember that by design humans were created this way so that after a hard day's work, they could settle in and digest their food, make babies with their cave lovers, and maybe plan the next day's hunt. Importantly, this is the vital state for rest and rejuvenation; people gotta sleep, right?

On the other side of the lung lobe, however, we have what's called the sympathetic nervous system. You've probably heard it referred to as "fight or flight" or "survival mode" as well. In this state, our bodies are swimming in a chemical cocktail of cortisol and adrenaline. We are operating in a high beta brain wave and elevated heart rate. This option was included in the human body design because, hey, it can be a dangerous world out there. If say, for example, a saber tooth tiger is lunging toward you, you'll be happy for this state. When we are in fight or flight, our body is all about surviving. Digestion comes to a halt and all of your energy reserves are dispersed to your limbs...you know, so that you can run and hide or stay and fight. Human beings were destined to fluctuate between these two states.

In the wild, if an animal escapes a lion's efforts at catching him and making zebra stew, for example, the first thing that animal will do once it knows it is safe is to shake, shake, shake its booty. It knows innately that all those stress hormones raging through its flight state has to get out of the creature's body. Humans don't seem to always understand this concept. In fact, many people seem to be living in fight or flight most of the time and this what we call a "dysregulated nervous system." Or, as I've always called it, chronic stress.

In case you're not aware, chronic stress causes or contributes to 99% of all diseases (divorces, accidents, and even wars if you ask me). But of perhaps more immediate concern (for those not yet in one of those precarious positions) stress effects your success. That means it's the first thing I look at when I'm coaching a client, because like it or not, regulating their nervous system is the first key to all that I teach. If I didn't address the cause, no strategy (what most coaches focus on) would result in lasting change. But speaking of causes, let's go a little deeper.

We know from mountains of research that most chronic stress stems from trauma. Most of us are well aware of the term "post traumatic stress disorder"--which could also be considered "situational stress." In other words, people who endured a shocking or horrific event, once or repeatedly, fit into this category. While I'm not here to talk about one-time events that therapy or other practices can greatly support, its important to note that trauma comes in all shapes and sizes.

We understand a situational event can shock our nervous system, but what a lot of people don't understand is that a "trauma" doesn't have to be a huge orderal. In coaching and therapy circles we say: Trauma with a capital T or with a small t. I personally don't like that because as far as the nervous system is concerned, all trauma sucks and it all has the same biological affects. In other words, a child who has a hard time dealing with his parent's divorce can be said to have been traumatized, even though his brother wasnt fazed in the slightest. The point being that if his trauma is not released (think about the shaking zebra), it gets frozen in his little body.

Add decades of additional upsetting events and surpressed feelings, and congratulations, now you have a full grown adult who can't understand why he had a heart attack or can't calm the hell down enough to get a good night's sleep. And let's not forget the tell tale sign of a dysregulated nervous system: an overactive amagalda. That just means that something simple as a snide remark or social media comment can send you into a tail spin of stress. We explode (more men) or implode (more women). Hence, it can be hard to get along in the world when your nervous system thinks the world wants to eat you.

People must understand trauma is not a mindset thing. All the affirmations and talk therapy in the world aren't going to fix it. Your nervous system is located inside your body, so that's where it must be addressed. This presents a challenge when a large marjority of people live in their heads. In fact,with most of the Type A people in sales I work with, the first part of my work is to get them back into their body. From there, we can start to release frozen trauma, and importantly, they can get back in touch with their emotions which has everything to do with manifesting and success. We actually 'magnetize' through our emotions, but that's a different post.

Here is a short list of things you can do to help your regulate our nervous system, aka, reduce pent up stress and avoid adding more:

1. Lean into the emotions you prefer to stuff down, ignore, or avoid. Feel them fully and you'll see how fast they dissapate.

2. Find a safe way to release those emotions from your body: EFT, screaming in a pillow, punching a pillow, body work.

3. When you find yourself triggered, refer to 1 and 2 above, following up with some reflecting and journaling.

In summary, most humans are walking around with jacked up, constricted nervous systems, so be easy on them an on yourself. The good news is that you are absolutely empowered to improve your life in any way you choose.

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If you're in real estate or sales and interested in one of my coaching options, please visit my website at www.TamaraDorris.com